Diary of a Sprocker by Jake Wilson - Age 5
A blog written mainly in Sprockerish or sometimes translated into English
Saturday 7th May 2016 - In the original Sprockish
Hello Sprockets Jake here.
Lazy Bank Holiday Monday!!!!!!!!! My black bum spot(see Pic 1).
Da fatbloke he waz up before da sparrows parp an we waz out on bank holiday ballfrow. So I decidez to punish him wiv lots of da huffy puffy leaky fing. So I ran an stop loadz so he waz leaky like he been in da showerz. I waz fink great dat will tirez him out an I getz da rest of da day for da duvet day.
My plan seemz to work, at first. Him an Hoomum goes off to da shops an leave me an baby to snooze. But after dey been back a while he dragz me out again, Hoomum not come wiv coz her leg iz still sore, but It big treat az we go down da Warren to da riverz an pondz. I waz to earliez to chase da rabbitz but I gotz muddy an do loadz of da swimmiez. I tellz you da Fatman haz more stamina than I give him credit for.
So despite it being a busy day it waz loadz of fun until I waz drag in da keep Jakey clean room an haz da bath!!!!!!!! Hoodad use a new baby shampoo on me dat smellz well nice, according to Hoomum who haz spent dayz sniffing me an tellz me how nice I smell, me I prefer dead fingz, mud an fox poo for my perfume. I iz happy to report da good stank iz well on da way to full recovery.
So I iz well Jell of you who post on FaceSprock dat you have da lazy day, spare a thought for us who hacvez Hoominz who iz obviously having funny turnz in dere old age an doing da get fit stuff, keep an eye on your Hoominz an watch out for odd walkiez patternz. You havez to nip it in da bud quick or you too could have da emarreasment of da hufy puffy leaky hoomin on you walkiez. Report all suspicious activity to da Sprocker Police.
My bird Truffles is poorly diz week, she haz hurt her leg an iz not her usual playfull self. Get well soonz sweetie I iz mis our Manorway playtimez.
On disz morningz ballfrow I haz taken on board da mantle of Hoodad trainer and waz makez him do Huffy Puffy leaky again. I waz well proud of him today as I make him runz two rugby pitches in one go, boy did he make noise and moan, he say he never ran dat far when he played rugby, it iz fun running wiv him but I tellz you he iz tirez me out. (Pic 2 iz me waitz for da Fatman to catch up)
Dere waz anuvver first today, he waz actually happy wiv one of my findz. My usual ballz, dead ballz, sammichez, live fingz dead fingz an poo usually getz me shouted at, occasionally he iz impressed like when I came out of da hedge wiv a toasted cheez sammich, but mosyt of da time he iz disgusted like my personal favourite the partially decayed seagull it pooped when I back flip onto it an I smelt bootfull. But today he waz pleased an tellz me I a good boy, no I not find him beer, I find da pair of wooly glovez, he said I waz a good boy for dat an put dem in hiz pocket, usually he frow my findz in da bin I felt so pleased.
Oh in all da excitements I nearly forgetz my Hoouncle Martin haz comez for visit an he bring hiz girlfiend HooAuntie Ally, she givez me cuddlez an tellz me I iz handsome so I like her a lot. I not see Hoouncle Martin since I waz a lickle puppy an he waz impressed at how big an strong I iz an how I has calmed down. It should mean I has da lazy weekend coz him an hoodad drink special pop an watch rugby lotz when dey are together so I should getz to snooze loadz. It doez explain why Hoomum cleanz like mad yesterday and mad da MMMMMMM Pie, she dropz loadz of mince so I gotz da Scooby snax too.
Well sprockets I iz off to rest up, Sprock on Puppies, Luvz Jake xx
Clickz on da image to see full pic
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