Diary of a Sprocker by Jake Wilson - Age 4½
A blog written mainly in Sprockerish or sometimes translated into English
Saturday 23rd January 2016 - In the original Sprockish
Hello Sprockets Jake here.
Well iz official ma an Hoodad iz on da healf kick. Az you know Sunday waz Hoomums birfdsay an I fink I must getz da lie in but no da Hoodad iz up an we iz out to givez Hoomum her lie in.
All diz after Saturday ball frow an two manorway runz as well. Den Sunday Lunchtime he takes me for a manorway run (me run him waddlez, in case you iz worried da fatbloke would crack da slabz). Well I haz to fake da sleepz all day after dat, he even haz da cheek to try an takez me for a manorway run Sunday late afternoon, well I givez him da look dat say no way fatman. Truf be told I knew da slow roast lamb waz in da oven az special birfday treat for Hoomum an I not leave her alone wiv it coz she would pinches it before it ready an den dere not overleftz for me an Baby da Catz.
Da lamb waz super lush no need for da slicy just da stabby goblin rodz an it peelz from da bone, fabbo Nom Nomz. (Hoodad here for those of you who are not familiar with Jake’s East Mids meets Essex vocabulary Slicy = knife, Stabby = fork and goblin rod = cutlery). We all waz stuffz to burstz even Baby da Catz dropz da lady act and trough out like da rest of us.
Bestes of all dere waz massez of overleftz me an Baby da ctaz haz our own Tupperware pot in da keepy cold fing so we haz pigged out all week. On da down side phewy we haz all been Parpy except poor hoodad who waz away most of da week wiv da work fing. When he got homez on Thursday we waz try to see who’s parp could make him leave da room or puke, Hoomum one OMD it made him gag I tellz him we haz had to put up wiv her pong all week now iz hiz turn. Da three of uz waz laugh at Hoodad. So he punish us by have da stinky mackerel fish which iz more pongy dan a Hoomum parp, she waz blame da kidney beanz but we knows different.
Hoodad gotz Hoomum a car sticker da say “Sprocker on board” I not know why dey need one. If I on board I iz so sexy who could miss me an if you lookz in da window you will see da seat cover, shed fur, Scooby snax crumbz and of course mud slashez so iz obvious a sprocker ownz da car, so I fink it a usless pressie what do da rest of da Sprocket world fink?
I haz discoverz a new game on ballballfrow now it cold, I callz it me makey cloudz. When I iz panting I can makez da super cloudz dat hide what Scooby snax or fox poo I iz snafflez so Hoodad not see what I iz doing and will not ration me snackz coz I haz been scoff on da walk. ( Hoodad here Oh Jake how wrong can you be, I know exactly how much your poo consumption has been due to your doggie death breath when I towel you down). Iz have da added bonus dat I makez him fink I had lost a ball but it wa hidden in me gob and surrounded by me cloud. It waz funny see him look for a green ball in long wet green grass, hiz eyez iz not so good now for da close up. Todayz Pic iz me make da cloud.
My title of King of da cloud not last long coz when da Hoodad takez of hiz silly hat wiv da ear flapz hiz baldy head look like da chimney wiv massive smoke cloudz.
Well Datz all diz week I iz off to hide coz da keep Jakie clean room is finished too now so it bye bye good stank I fear.
Sprock on puppiez Luvz Jake xx
Clickz on da image to see full pic
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